Farewell Good Friend
 
We said our farewells to our male malamute, Trudeau on April 19th, 2018.  It was a day stricken with sorrow, and joy.  Sorrow because we said good bye to one of our furry children and it is never easy to do this.  Joy because we were able to communicate with Trudeau and ask him what he wanted for his final resting day.  The knowing, and honoring his wishes made the experience of his death much more meaningful for all of us.  Some of you who read this will wonder how does one communicate to your dog and ask him those questions, and others know that it is entirely possible.
 
Now that we have respected a grieving period, I’m able to share with you the manner of our communication and the actual ceremony of his death, but before I embark on that journey I’d like to share with you the cause of his death, and the lessons learnt around it.
 
Trudeau was an 8 year old Alaskan malamute, the first descendant from the wolf. You are probably wondering why the name Trudeau?  Well we both liked our former prime minister Pierre Elliot Trudeau and how cool to call your dog after him.  However, I'm sure Grant has a different version of this story, I just can't remember what it is.   Trudeau never appeared to be sick in our eyes, and always had a voracious appetite.  I think he would have eaten anything you gave him, edible and non edible.  Trudeau as a growing pup had some difficulties with his right hind leg.  His knee would pop out every once in awhile, which was much cause for concern at the time, however, apparently normal for a growing, large bread.  We brought Trudeau home with a sister named Luna, and they always lived outside in their pen.  Never the 2 were separated, until the time Grant started to walk them separately for training.  Our furry friends loved to pull the sleigh and they were the happiest when working.
 
In early March we noticed that Trudeau was not putting any weight on his right hind leg, and we assumed that perhaps his knee was popping out again.  When looked over by the veterinarian, we were told that it was perhaps a torn ligament or muscle.  It was suggested to supplement him with some calcium to help his bones; at the age of 8 he is considered a senior.  The vet also suggested we take him on short walks, and to do some physiotherapy.  So daily Grant would walk him slowly around the house, and we both would exercise the leg.  I would daily give him some Reiki treatments in the hopes that the leg would heal.  After a month passed, we were very excited to see that the leg had improved immensely.  Trudeau was now putting weight on the leg, and he was even running a little.  During this whole time his appetite never subsided.
 
One morning I came to check on him and do some work, and he was lying on top of his dog house, ears right back, and the look of intense pain in his eyes.  This deep, sunken feeling came over me, and I knew something was not right.  As I approached his leg, it no longer had any resistance to it.  It simply flopped around.  I’m no vet, but every ounce of intuition was telling me his leg was broken.  How could it be broken?  What the heck did he do?  Did he fall?  We knew we had to bring him to the vet, but it was a Saturday, and our vet was out of town, and could not take him.  We really struggled with the decision to wait till Monday for an x-ray.  But we waited.  In the meantime, I did lots of energy work with him, and we gave him cannabis oil, and lavender oil.
 
The week prior to this incident, Grant and I had watched the video series entitled “The Truth about Pet Cancer” created by Ty Bollinger.  It’s an excellent series and very informative.  We had lost our first dog, Teiga to cancer.  There was a lot of information in this video series, but the message we walked away with the most was that dogs and cats are not meant to eat solely dry pet food.  They absolutely need raw, and wet food in their diets.  The diet change was something I had been considering for awhile.  I co-facilitate an Ayurveda and Yoga retreat four times a year and Purnima Chaudhari and we are constantly teaching the difference between intelligent, dumb, and dead food.  Without getting into a whole lesson here in this blog, know that dead food is any food that has been processed and cooked at extremely high temperatures, or microwaved.  Therefore, “kibble” falls into this category.  Dogs are no different than humans, if their diet consists of nothing but processed food, they are essentially starving their bodies.  The body can not get enough nutrients to be absorbed in order to feed all seven layers of tissues.  All that consumed processed food is then being stored in fat, for the body sees it as a foreign element and does not know what to do with it.  Eventually, your body starts to create disease, and we get sick, and fat.
 
Monday morning we took Trudeau to the vet for an x-ray and our fears were confirmed his leg was broken in half at the femur.  But that news was not the worst of it.  Around the femur was a shadow that indicated bone cancer.  What the F@ck!  Where did that come from?  Our hearts were crushed!  Our logical minds start wheeling and looking for the signs.  Were there any signs that this was coming?  Were we blinded to the signs?  Are we terrible pet parents?  If you have ever lost a pet you know exactly what I’m talking about.  Our minds are trying to justify the madness.  The vet said there is nothing we can do, you should put him down, as he is in a lot of pain.  I’m a healer, I don’t like it when anyone, or anything is in pain!  I told Grant that I did not want to rush into this decision and that we needed to sit with this for a few days.  We would do the best we could to make Trudeau comfortable until we reached a decision.
 
As a shamanic practitioner, I have the tools to meditate (journey) to other realms to talk to power animals, guides, spirits, angels and so forth.  I decided to journey to the spirit of Trudeau.  The spirit is always available even if the person or animal is alive or has passed.  My journey to the spirit of Trudeau was beautiful!  His spirit came to me as a wolf, big large black and white wolf.  His messages were as follows: 

• His purpose in this life time was to help us learn the importance of diet for all domesticated animals.  They need raw meat, and raw vegetables in their diet.
• His spirit was well aware of his cancer, and no longer wanted his body to carry the intense pain.
• His spirit gave us permission to end his life.
• His spirit wanted his final day to be done with ceremony; music, drumming, smudging
• His spirit wanted all of us to be together, especially Luna, so that she could understand that he was no longer walking in this realm.
• His body wanted to eat a raw rabbit for his last meal
• His spirit wanted to be buried in the earth.
• His spirit wanted my help to bring it to the light.

 
Up until the 19th of April, Trudeau no longer wanted to sleep in the pen with his sister, Luna.  He was content to lie underneath the big old oak tree.  I call this oak the grieving tree as we said good bye to 3 other pets here.  We continued to do energy work with him, give him cannabis and lavender oil to ease his pain.  My hope was that he would die naturally, however that was not the case.  We chose the 19th to put him down.  This number is significant as we have lost 2 other furry children on the 19th.  The number for me signifies our ‘oneness”.  In numerology, you add the 2 digits together until the number becomes a single digit so (1+9 = 10 , 1+0=1)  One is the magic number.
 
The morning of the 19th Grant and I headed outside with drum, smudging tools, raw rabbit, guitar, Luna, and cats.  We fed Trudeau his raw rabbit meal and he devoured it.  I then began a ceremony asking the animal guides to join us and to assist Trudeau in his journey over the rainbow bridge.  I drummed and sang shamanic songs, asking the sun to take Trudeau’s pain away.  We danced with the spirits of nature, and all the cats came by to say good bye.  Grant played a series of songs on his guitar, we sang and we cried.  At some point I held Trudeau in a rhythmic breath of So Hum.  A yogic mantra breath that literally means “ I am THAT”.  It is a breath that brings deep calmness to the mind.  Trudeau looked up at me with his head tilted and said in his own language that he was ready.  Just as he finished looking at me, the vet drove up in the driveway, and proceeded to put Trudeau in his eternal sleep.  He died at 11:11 the hour of awakening.  I then proceeded to journey along side Trudeau as his spirit left his body.  I guided him over the rainbow bridge where he was met by a pack of wolves, Oso, and Stu.  He then gazed at me again, said his farewells and turned into a spark of light and shot out into the stars.
 
For me Trudeau’s death was beautiful, peaceful, and even magical.  I felt so honored to have been able to create, assist, and lovingly release him.  My heart is and was truly full.  Trudeau has not been by in spirit yet to say hello.  But I know that he is working with some of my other guides and I will soon be starting a new chapter in my life.  His death has taught me so much, and I’m meant to share this with the world.  How that looks like is being revealed to me as I write, and when the time is right for sharing it will be so.

Trudeau our black and white Alaskan Malamute.

Do you believe in angels?  I certainly do.  I have been very fortunate in my life time to have witnessed, and experience the grace of their work in their miracles. Angels are always ready to go to work and help all life forms on earth, their only criteria is to be asked.

About a month ago as I was getting ready to crawl into bed, I had a vision.  It was a scene that flashed by like a movie, one that involved my mother.  The vision, was of mom walking on the sidewalk in the middle of a cold winter night, with something in her arms and a strange blue flashing light surrounding her.  She had nothing but her shoes, pants, a couple of t-shirts and a hoodie on.  You might think that this is no big deal, but it is when it's minus 30 outside.  This vision disturbed me, and left me feeling alarmed and concerned.  You see mom lives in a supportive housing complex in a small town outside of Winnipeg and suffers from dementia.

After I received the vision I decided to *heartlink with the angels and ask Archangel Michael for his guidance, and surround my mother with protection.  I asked the angels that if by the grace of God it was time for my mother to leave the earth, then let it be so, but not in a grueling death, by freezing to death; let it be gentle and kind in a way that it is easier for her and for the souls, her friends, family and grandchildren that are left behind.

24 hours later from the time I had this vision, I received a call from my sister at 3:30 a.m.  That awful dread came creeping into my solar-plex as you know nothing good comes from a phone call in the middle of the night. My sister informs me that she is at the hospital with my mom.  Mom had been spotted by a street cleaner walking along the sidewalk with nothing but her shoes, pants, a couple of t-shirts and a stuffed cat in her arms.  The "Earth Angel", street cleaner, got into his truck, and convinced my mom to get in, where he then took her to the hospital. 

Here is what we know for sure.  Mom managed to exit her residence in Ste. Annes around 1:45 a.m. and walked all the way to the Co-op.  This is probably a 3/4 mile walk.  She was brought to the hospital around 2:30 a.m.  For 45 minutes she was in -30 weather, with nothing but her pants, shoes and t-shirt on.  When she arrived at the hospital she was disoriented, but her toes, fingers, ears and nose were warm.  By the grace of the angels, mom did not suffer any effects from the cold.

When my sister was done telling me about the details of mom's adventure I was in awe.  I then told her of my vision.  I said: "But what was the blue light,I can't figure out what this weird flashing blue light was?".  My sister then replied; "the blue light is the light on top of the street cleaners machinery".

There are no words to express the feelings, the rush, the gratefulness, the relief that no harm had come to mom; no frost bite, no effects whatsoever.  It simply is unfathomable.  I know that Archangel Michael illuminated his blue protective shield over my mother and worked through this street cleaner.  I know that on that night a miracle took place and by the grace of God my mother was spared a grueling death.

If I ever had any doubt about angels in the past, I can tell you that all that doubt is gone, for I do BELIEVE in ANGELS!

PS
If you are reading this story and you know someone who knows someone who was that man who saved my mom that night.  Please have him contact us, for my family would really love to say thank you to him personally.  Please share!

*Heartlink:  a process in which you make a connection from your heart to the angels.  I teach this in my "Healing with Angels" course.

-I've done a few strange things in my day, and always open to trying them.  Recently, my husband and I slept with sliced red onions at our feet.  Yup you heard me right!  But you just don't wake up one morning and decide ah sweetie I think we will sleep with onions tonight.  Of course not!  You'd have to lock me up in the loony bin if that was the case.  However, let me take you back a few years. 

For a couple of years now I have observed Grant's health in the decline.  His love of life had faded.  His energy level washed away.  His enthusiasm for music even seemed to be blown away in the winds.  I'd sit and watch, forever the observant and when I tried to approach the subject of his health he denied that anything was "really" wrong.  Deep down inside my intuition told me something was up.  I even had two psychics tell me that he was sick.  But when you are so close to someone it's hard to communicate your concerns without appearing like some annoying nag.   Some of hardest lessons to learn in life is to let someone walk in their own shoes, in their own journey, on their own time especially when you have a deep connection of love with that person.

Every chant, every drumming, every meditation, every shamanic journey, and every prayer I asked the universe to grant me the courage, the patience, the compassion and most importantly, I asked for a gentle, graceful wake up call for Grant.  And without fail, the universe delivered.

On a morning in September 2016, Grant came out of the shower, and I noticed that he had skin rings all over his body.  I knew what it was right away for I had been in contact with this when I was a teenager.  He was covered in ring worms also known as tinea. I was really horrified at the site, and I knew that something much more severe was going on with his health.

I'm not going to go into what tinea is or is not, because this is irrelevant at this point.  Simply note it is a symptom of something much bigger.  And Grant's gentle wake up call to really look at his health.

And so a new chapter begins in bringing Grant's temple, his body to a new level of health.  I say new because you can never go back to what was.  Our bodies are in constant change of renewal.  There is no going back!  What we have is what is forward, what is new.  You literally create your temple by means of breath, sleep, food, thoughts etc. We are also the healers of our own bodies.  We have control over a healthy body, mind & spirit.  No one else does!  So it's important to understand that when you are not healthy, you alone with the power of will can make the decision to do something about it.  No one else!

With a heart filled with gratitude I thank Grant for making the decision to do something about his health. A new path has been taken on the road to a life of "energized being" in 2017.

So what about those onions you ask?  Don't worry I'm getting there.  Grant and I are not fans of the "Western" medical system and lean more towards the "Eastern" philosophy.  So with the Eastern approach we knew that the tinea was simply the result of something much much more...but what?  Fortunately, for us we are well connected to many different healer practitioners, and immediately I knew we needed to go see our good friend Purnima Chaudhari.  Purnima is an Ayurveda specialist.  She has many many years of training in this field and with a simple pulse assessment she can determine the levels of imbalances you have in all of your doshas and sub-doshas.  In my opinion this is more thorough then a visit to your MD who is overworked, has no time and has no clue what is wrong with you.  They focus on the symptoms and send you off with a cream or worse a pill.

We quickly changed our diets.  Dealing with the first imbalance; too much sugar in the body feeds the tinea (fungi - candida).  The key to a healthy body is a healthy digestive system.  We eliminated all sugar, the white stuff, the fruits, and starches.  We also cut out all wheat and anything fermented.  Grant had to say good bye to beer!  We needed to pay attention to when we ate and what foods hit the belly first, along with pre-biotics and pro-biotics.

After 4 months of being mindful of what was going into our bellies, Grant made the decision to give up cigar smoking.  That one was a little tougher then giving up beer.  But I admire his willingness and courage.  I myself have a really hard time giving up the sweets and chocolate.  And so we are getting closer to the onions.  After our last visit with Purnima, Grant's imbalances had much improved, but because of the cessation of cigar smoke many toxins were swimming along in his body looking for a ride out of the body.  With essential oils and transdermal creams applied to the spine and liver Grant started a painful process of ridding himself of the many, many toxins his temple was host to.

And so the onions.  Grant spent New Years Eve deathly sick in bed with a high fever, shivers, severe chest coughing, hacking mucus, loss of appetite, weakened, and shriveled to skin and bones.  Anyone who has walked along someones illness knows the desperation as an observer you feel.  I tended to his hydration, change of clothes, sheets, medicines and encouragement that he would get through this...and then the onions.

Another wonderful friend, Marina (my wonderful friend from the Fay)  suggested to slice up onions and sleep with them in our socks.  The onions would help break the fever and pull out the toxins in his body.   She also recommended that I do it as well, for I have been inhaling his germs and my immune system would be compromised.

So night time came and I looked at my husband and said: "you are going to laugh, maybe think I've lost it completely, but would you be willing to sleep with onions at your feet tonight?  It might help you break your fever and get you on the road to recovery".  He looked at me and said "Whatever Carole".  Okay let's do it.  And as we went to bed that night.  We laughed!  It felt silly even a little bit crazy.  But then who are you talking to?  I am crazy and willing to do what it takes.  That night I felt like chicken soup was cooking in the sheets.  We managed to ward off the cats, vampires and the fever.

We are grateful for those who aren't afraid to share their tips and tricks.  We are grateful to those who chanted for us.  I am grateful for Grant who doesn't always question why we do the things that we do.

I know one thing is for sure.  I will never look at onions in the same way again!

When you look around, one can truly see magic and beauty everywhere.  We are surrounded by the divine’s gifts of nature, kindness, and creativity.
 
There is a place I can call home situated in the eastern regions of Manitoba.  Carefully situated on the banks of the Whitemouth river, where a meandering, gentle flowing waterway, reminds you that life is simpler and easier if you allow yourself to be carried by the current of the river. The river is guarded by some ancient tree beings, protecting the sacred waters that give us life.  Warriors of a different kind never tired of their quest.
 
My bald eagle clan greets me even if it’s for just a fleeting moment.  We honour and respect each other by the acknowledgement of being present.  Here, my daily life and responsibilities melt away like a shadow in the mists of a fog.
 
We are greeted each morning by the rising sun with spectacular skies of unimaginable colors.  And our feathered friends show their excitement by singing and dancing in the branches; waiting to greet us for a new day.  In the evening, when it is time to slow down the sun makes it’s way to the West sprinkling hues of  pink, orange, yellow and purple.  A vista that never gets tiring for me as it only inspires me.
 
The moon beckons me, a time to honour the divine feminine within me.  A time to empower, create and set intentions.  She envelopes me with her nurturing rays, carrying me through some of my darkest times.  Here, in this place I call home, the moon’s energy is nothing short of miraculous;  precious, gorgeous, outrageously immense. I always have a great sense of being blessed to be in her presence.
 
Within this space, if you look carefully, you will notice the little things that make this a special home.  Sprinkled with inspirational quotes that require you to take note.  Angels and fairies are neatly tucked in places you don’t expect giving you the sense that you are not alone, never alone!  Reminding you that the divine is always within.  Your guardian angels are by your side day and night, waiting for you to ask, ask for their help, ask for their guidance, ask for their grace, beauty, radiance, peace and love; always ready, always present.  Open your heart to the possibilities of magic, magic of fairies.  They wait to bring you joy and laughter as they flutter from plant to plant, and tree to tree.
 
I am honored that the creators of this space, guided by their light are my friends who open their hearts to greet, meet and love me no matter what.  This is a special place I like to call home.  A place I like to come when I need to reconnect with my higher self in order to truly find my way home, the oneness of our universe…LOVE.

 
 

This month is filled with new beginnings!  I introduced a whole new series of yoga and meditation mini workshops, wisdom shares and mini day retreats for small groups.  How exciting and scary to start new things.

We come up with these great ideas and think WOW wouldn't it be so cool to do this and do that...and then you get caught up in the creation of it all and build excitement.  Then that little voice pipes in and says; " who are you kidding no one wants what you have to offer".  Urgh I really despise that voice.  As much as I want to capture it and put it in a box and bury it so that it never sees the light again, my kind heart says this is no way to treat your ego.  So I kindly nudge the ego and say; "listen if it is meant to be it shall be, let's just give it a try and see". 

Fear is a pretty big monster in all of our lives.  We give it so much power, yet we don't necessarily make the connection that we are the ones that feed it!  Silly isn't it?

I'm getting better at not feeding the fear, and really focusing on what makes my light shine.  For some what we offer at the Calder House may seem out of the ordinary and others see it as beauty.  Whenever I'm feeling doubt, a kind soul will send me a message and tell me that they love what I'm doing, they feel inspired, and wish they could participate to all.  I pause and think yes thank you so much, for your support, and for sharing.  Timing is always perfect.

Don't let your desires, your dreams, your longings be smothered by fear.  You are meant to be useful in this lifetime and your gifts are in your desires.  Gently push the fear out of the way and remind it that it has no place here and now.  After all you are holding the remote control.

Wow!  So where did 2015 go exactly?  So many precious moments, some difficult, some painful, and some delightful.

2015 brought us so many wonderful, beautiful guests at the Calder House.  All of which I believe were meant to find us, and in turn we them.

I've grown closer to my spirit, and practicing what it means to embody the mind, body and spirit.  It's been a beautiful transformation.  One that has seen some amazing benefits.  My body has shed 35 pounds, and moves with more ease.  My mind's addiction to alcohol has ceased.  My spirit, sees, hears, and recognizes light in all mother earths inhabitants from the ant all the way to the mountains.  The mind is less cluttered with nonsensical stuff. It's more clear, calm, relaxed, emptied.  A mind more observant of itself.
My spirit has awakened and is excited about it's potential and the journey yet to travel.  A deeper comprehension if it's vastness and all that lies in reach behind veils yet to be removed.

Yes it has been an incredible year both filled with grief and joy.

I have witnessed miracle upon miracle by guests who uncovered their powers of creation, of mastering their lives.  Truly it has been an honor.

Yes it has been an incredible year both filled with excitement and depression.

So what will 2016 bring me...more of the same or different?

I master my life, so what will it be?  Caution lies to the wind as I must be very careful of what I ask for consciously or subconsciously.  Do I want abundance?  Do I want health?  Travel?  More lessons to learn?  More skills to master?  What do I want to attract?  Very important question to ponder, to reflect before putting it out to the universe.

I think this year I will keep it simple, really simple.  I want to embrace the universal law of giving and receiving.  I want to bring balance to this law in my life.  All my life this law has been unbalanced.  The scale has always had more weight on the giving.  This year I want to embrace without fear, without guilt, without shame, RECEIVING!

I want to receive LOVE, and I want to share it in it's purest sense of how I know.

Simple isn't it,
                        Just "BE LOVE".

in light,
Carole