We all sign up for workshops, therapy and buy books that promises to fix us. Why do we do this? Simple, we FEEL BROKEN. It was no different for me in my 20’s and that is why I signed up for my very first Reiki course. It was called Dr. Usui Reiki Level I. There was something mystical about the concept that I could heal myself. That felt like a big truth for me. Healing oneself was a new concept because at that point in my life I believed that life happened to me, and I was always the victim of my circumstance. I certainly did not know anything about creating my life, my health.
I really want to emphasize the WHY in this blog. My big WHY on the surface was I felt like I was in constant state of FEAR. To be honest for good reasons. I had some traumatic experiences in my life. But the one that had me most crippled was the experiences and the abuses I had lived with for over a year with a partner who was…himself broken.
When I escaped from that life with my life, I always felt like I needed eyes behind my back. I was in “flight” mode at all times and in high alert. The result of this trauma in my body showed up in a few different ways; struggled with weight gain, constipation, severe indigestion, bouts of insomnia, lower and mid back pain, and lots of neck issues. That was only the physical symptoms. My mental symptoms showed up in waves of depression and that consistent negative voice in my head that told me I was useless, pathetic, stupid, ugly and fat. Wow that is a mouthful! Spiritually, well I was so overwrought with the physical and mental and emotional symptoms, I could not see what was broken there for the exception that I felt a spiritual void! A sense of disconnection to all that is and the strong conviction that there was no God!
Up to this point in my life, my health program was dependent on anti-depressants, sleeping pills, muscle relaxants and one natural product called digestive enzymes. That is, it. I knew in my core that there had to be another way. But I had no answers until Reiki stepped into my life.
What is your WHY? What has you in pain? What are you suffering from? Are you stuck in the old belief system that only the Western doctors can help you? Western medicine has its place no argument here. Most of us wait until there is something so severely wrong with us, perhaps its cancer, autoimmune deficiency, MS, and so on. Why is it that the pain turns into suffering and at that point in our lives why is it so difficult to find any kind of balanced health? We are born whole. What the heck happened to us?
But is that really all there is? Could there be more? For some reason even in my darkness nights of pain, I had this knowing that there had to be other ways to heal. I felt that there needed to be a bigger picture approach, something much more natural. I had no awareness whatsoever at that point in my life what whole meant. What was holistic? I had heard whispers about mind, body, and spirit. But what the heck was all that nonsense.
The introduction to Reiki opened a magical door! Once I stepped through it, there was no turning back!
Stay tuned as I continue sharing my journey with Reiki in part III...
When I get into my deepest thoughts and contemplation this is when the most beautiful words flow