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Thoughts to share

Calder House Wrap Up - Pizza Night

11/19/2019

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Pizza Night

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Sometimes our marketing approach was to donate a gift certificate.  This is a great ways to advertise without any up front costs.  Most winners of these gift certificates rarely ever use them.

We were asked by by the Steinbach Art Council to donate some sort of package that we offered at the Calder House and we chose to donate the "Soiree au pizza".  The couple who won were celebrating their 2nd year wedding anniversary.  Their package included a one night stay, pizza dinner and 2 - 30 minutes hot stone massage.

When our couple arrived at the house you could tell they were really feeling out of their comfort zone.  We did the best we could to make them feel at home.  We gave them a tour of the house, pointed out the areas they were free to sit and relax.

Our couple had gone up to their room to get settled in, and a few minutes later the gentleman came downstairs and asked: "Where is the TV".  I replied: "We don't have a TV for our guests".  As that answer sank in, you could see the distress on his face.  Off he went back upstairs to talk to his wife.  Within a few minutes they both came downstairs and sat at the kitchen table.

I said: "What are you doing?"  The man replied: "We are watching you".  Back in those early days of our business I did not allow anyone in the kitchen while I created my magic.  I was always in my zone, and didn't appreciate anyone in my space.  I remember feeling so so uncomfortable.  I made suggestions as to where they might sit, like in the gazebo the watch the birds.  To be honest with you anywhere else in the house except the kitchen.  So they obliged, got up sat in the gazebo for 10 minutes and then came back in, and sat down at the kitchen table.

I took a large breath of air, and let it out ever so slowly.  The were so mesmerized by the fact that I was making pizza from scratch.  I was boiling my secret sauce and adding all kinds of healthy super foods into my crust.  It was really amazing to me how much their minds could not fathom how to make homemade pizza.

I managed to embrace the uncomfortable feelings I was experiencing and allow myself to be out of my comfort zone.  That experience made me realize how so many people are disconnected from one of their major sources of life energy - food!  It also underlined a huge problems that our society has with their dependency on processed food.

From that day forward, my kitchen was never closed to my guests.  They could come and sit and chat.  I had the perfect opportunity to share the importance of whole foods, sourcing from farmers who were stewards of the land.  Some of our most popular retreat packages were born from this experience.  The most popular was "Soiree au pizza".  To this day I still hear Grant lament that he misses my pizzas.

I give thanks to this wonderful couple who broke my kitchen barriers, and showed me that the love that comes from my creations in the kitchen are worth sharing with the world.

Namaste

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Calder House Wrap Up - Never Judge a Book by it's Cover

11/13/2019

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Never Judge A Book by it's Cover

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We were in our second year of business and every once in awhile we would get a little fearful of who would show up.

Grant would sometimes think "What if they steal from us?" and my reply would always be; "We don't attract those kind of people".

One day we received an unusual call from a young man who wanted to create a getaway for his wife.  They both worked strange hours and carving time away together was a tricky balancing act for them.  He wanted to check in for breakfast and check out after dinner.  It was a bizarre request, but typically you check in the late afternoon and check out at 11:00 am the next day.

I went on a hunch and decided to accommodate their strange request.  I felt a little unsettled at the strange request for it meant having to do something outside of the box so to speak.

Our guests arrived first thing in the morning in time for their breakfast.  When they walked in I think my mouth dropped down to the floor.  They were both adorned with piercings and tattoos.  I have absolutely nothing against body adornment, it's just that it was so unexpected.  This is not your typical type of person who wants to come and stay at a b & b.  I could hear my mother's voice in my head saying oh they must be dangerous.  Funny how our parent's beliefs will sneak out of your sub-conscious every once in awhile.

When it came time to pay their bill, they were wanting to go out for dinner first, then check out and pay.  Grant was feeling unsettled about the timing of this and had thoughts of them going out for dinner and not returning to pay their bill.  I myself was starting to wonder if we would ever see our tattooed guests.

The guests did come back, they paid their bill, and thanked us for accommodating their strange request.  After they left that night, I did not bother to check their room as it had been a long day.  So I left the cleaning till the next day.

First thing in the morning I walked into the room, and there laying on the bed was a big gift bag and a card.  Our guests had given us a card with a hundred thank yous written in different languages.  The card was signed with a beautiful note thanking us so much for the lovely stay.  They were grateful that we chose to accept their strange check in and check out times.  In the gift bag was the most beautiful bird bath that you could hang in your garden.  They wrote in their note that they really enjoyed the birds during their stay.

Never judge anyone by how they look or by their unusual requests because it does not reveal the truth of who they are.  Our guests gave us a beautiful gift of a birdbath, but honestly, the most valuable gift was the lesson we received of not judging a book by it's cover.
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Calder House Wrap Up - The Dog Whisperer

10/30/2019

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The Dog Whisperer

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A number of years ago we received a reservation from a couple from Switzerland.  Oh I remember how excited I was and remember thinking who needs to travel when the world comes to your doorstep.

I remember the middle aged woman, with beautiful skin and a quiet, gentle demeanor.  Her profession was to work with dogs in some capacity.  My memory escapes me at the moment, but I believe she trained and showed dogs.

During the time of the couple's stay we were having lots of problems with Luna and Trudeau's behavior when we took them for walks.  They would never listen and I found myself frustrated all the time.  In fact I would even go as far as saying that I disliked walking them.

Our lovely dog whisperer asked if she could join us for a walk one night.  I gave her Trudeau's leash with all the warnings; he pulls, he doesn't listen, blaa blaa blaa.  She smiled and we started to walk.  As she walked, Trudeau obediently walk along side of her with his full attention and not having to correct him in anyway.  I couldn't believe my eyes!

She gracefully explained that our animals (pets) are an extension of our energy field, if you are tense so are they, if you are agitated so are they.  The BIG light bulb went off in my head.  Of course why had I not made the connection before?  I was already teaching humans energy work and explaining how other peoples energy affects ours why wouldn't it be the same for our pets.

From that day forward my walks with Trudeau and Luna became much more peaceful, always checking and clearing my energy prior to my contact with them, and making sure that my awareness and mindfulness button was turned on.

Thank you to our Swiss friends!
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Calder House Wrap Up - Groupon

10/24/2019

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Groupon

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In our 2nd year of business, Groupon had just hit the scene with their incredible discounts.  We had heard of numerous stories of how it had changed people's businesses for the good and the worst.

When we looked into the marketing opportunity, we decided that we could totally take advantage of their strategy.  We were very careful in our planning as we wanted to attract customers that were into wellness.  We put together an incredible retreat package that offered a stay in this lovely room (the metal room) with a Reiki session and a pot of herbal tea.  I don't remember the details of the cost, but it was an amazing deal.

Our goal was to sell 50 packages and we totally nailed it.  We offered upgrades to our package where the customers could add a night, turn their Reiki session into a hot stone massage and add pizza to their stay.  Wow what fun!

It was great and we worked hard!  But to be honest the best part was the beautiful souls who came.  Still to this day we are in contact with most of these customers with many of them who became really dear friends.  Truly that deal might of been wonderful for them, but for us it still enriches our lives.

To those 50 couples who came, you were amazing are are still amazing!  You helped us grow our business and our offerings.

YOU truly played such an important role in our success and for this we are forever grateful!

For Sale

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We are de cluttering at the Calder House, making space for something new in our lives.  What that is exactly we do not know.  But we are open to receiving.  So we are selling off some antique pieces.

In the photo to the left their are 3 pieces that are for sale.  On the left of the photo is a cute dresser with mirror, made of pine circa 1920 assembled with dove tale finish.  We are asking $125. The 2nd piece is the old captain's bed comes with head board, foot board, railings, metal frame and box spring.  Asking $400 OBO. The 3rd piece is the chair on the far left of the picture ($20)  Please reach out if you are interested.  First come first serve.

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Calder House Wrap Up - Our First Guest

10/16/2019

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Our First Guest

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In preparation for the Calder House grand opening we decided to do a trial run with some guests.  I quickly put some feelers out and our carpenter mentioned that his wife and a few of her friends would love to be our first guests as they were huge bed & breakfast lovers.

In May of 2008 our first guest arrived.  Mariette came a day earlier than the "girls" to work on a project.  She was the most loveliest guest one could ask for.  Mariette shared some very, very funny stories  about her bed & breakfast adventures.  She had us rolled over in stitches with her animated story telling.  Who knew she was a comedian as well.

We became fast friends and she visited often for different occasions.  Mariette if you are reading this, we just want you to know that you set the bar high for all other guests to come.  You are truly very dear to our hearts.

Thank you for sharing your experiences, thank you for the many recommendations you made, thank you for your amazing sense of humor, and most of all thank you for your sincere wish to see us succeed.

On t'aime bien gros!
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"Three Cool Cats" - One of Alice's Favorite Songs

8/31/2019

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Alice Milliner
April 13, 1929-June 20, 2019

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We didn't share our sad news on social media.  We didn't tell too many people.  In fact we forgot to tell a few.  The truth is we were still processing my mom's loss that we barely caught our breath and Alice's (mother in law) time had come.  She took her last exhale on June 20, 2019 at 3:03 pm in the Bethesda Hospital. Exactly 34 days after my mom's passing, and exactly 24 years to the day from her husband's death, Norm Milliner.

To me Alice was know as mum as oppose to mom.  This was the way she would sign her name in her greeting cards so that we wouldn't get the moms confused.  She was this short 5' tall, little bright blue eyed woman with spunk right till the end.  Lived a long life of 93 years.

The day before Alice's passing, she gave me a gift, one that I will always cherish.  I felt a strong urge to go to the hospital early on June 19th to spend some "alone" time with Alice.  We needed to chat and get a few things straight for I knew that she had begun the journey of transitioning.

That morning Alice shared with me that she feared she did not have much time left with us, and that she was tired of fighting.  She shared that she feared death itself, and did not understand it.  She expressed that she was worried about leaving us behind, and especially worried about Grant (her son, my husband). Alice felt awful that her timing was so off, as my mom had just died.  So many emotions, worries and suffering. I realized that I could give her my biggest gift, my blessings, and share some of my truths with her.

Alleviating Guilt

I took a deep breath and chose my words carefully.  I said: "Alice, you are not responsible for your timing in death that is up to the creator (God).  You were not able to participate in my mom's celebration of life with us for you were sick in hospital.  I can tell you that we "celebrated" her life.  We shared stories and lessons we learnt.  My mom's passing was filled with joy and peace.  There is NO grief for me.  My mom is in a beautiful place with the angels.  There is no greater gift, nothing that you should feel guilty about."  To this Alice continued to repeat that she felt bad and this is too soon after my mom's passing.  As this was always her way, to worry needlessly I spoke in a stern voice and said: "ALICE, listen to me carefully.  It is what it is.  Listen carefully, look into my eyes and SEE my heart...I have NO grief for my mom.  My heart is filled with JOY and PEACE.  There are no more excuses for you.  If it is your time to go, then you must do so with grace not guilt or worry."  We release you with love.

About Death

Alice had given us a few scares in the past 3 years of being rushed to the hospital by ambulance for breathing emergencies.   I always wanted to make sure that she was at peace with dying, this was important to me. I would approach the subject.  But she would ignore me, or give me that gazed look like I'm not talking about this.  On June 19th, the time had come, and her heart was opened to discussing the topic, well time was fast approaching!  I asked her if she'd ever given much thought to what happens after life.  She nodded no and confessed that she feared death.  I asked her if it would be alright with her if I shared some shamanic wisdom.  To this she agreed.  I shared: "From a shamanic perspective we believe there are 3 parts to the soul at death.  The first is your body soul.  We understand that the blood goes back to the ocean, the bones go back to the earth and the breath goes back to the air.  In essence the body decomposes and mother earth takes your body soul back and everything gets recycled again.  The second is your ego soul.  This is the part of your soul that has all your dual traits; you know the good and the bad.  Its the part of your soul that can often get stuck on the earth.  The one that has attachments to your loved ones.  It tends to hang around if it has some unfinished business.  We mostly recognize this one as "ghosts".  The third part of your soul is the divine soul.  The pure, source of light, love energy. What is important is that all 3 parts of the soul transition.  But often if there are attachments to loved ones the ego soul stays behind, and we don't want that.  This is not healthy for you or your loved ones.  It prevents your loved ones from moving on and living their LIFE!"

She looked at me with the sweetest look and a twinkle in her eyes and said:  "Thank you for sharing this with me.  I think I would like to take this perception, I like it!"

Worries About Leaving Us Behind

"Oh Alice, I believe you can reach out and let us know you are thinking of us!  Let's decide right now how you will communicate with us.  Some departed loved ones leave us pennies, white feathers, purple butterflies you know signs like that.  Dad still sends me the Pileated woodpeckers.  If I'm thinking of him, the next thing you know he sends me a Pileated woodpecker. How do you want to communicate with us?"  She looked at me and said:  "I want to be a cell phone!"  That was unexpected.  But the truth was that the last time she was in hospital we did a group chat with all the nieces and nephews on Messenger and she thought that was the cat's ass.  It was decided that she would reach out by cell phone, and she did not disappoint, as a few days after she passed Grant was speaking on the phone with one of her good friends and the cell phone went all wonky making these strange sounds as if someone else was trying to connect.

I thanked Alice for our heartfelt conversation.  I expressed that it was important that we were able to talk like this.  The conversation was a true gift one that my mom could not give me at the end of her life.  What a beautiful gift to be able to share wisdom, truths and love like this.

That afternoon Alice was surrounded by some of her beloved friends and family.  She was in "high" spirits, joyful and energetic.  Grant played the guitar and sang her all her favorite songs.  She kept asking for "Three Cool Cats" and "White Sports Coat".  Grant kept saying, but mom I just played that song.  To which I would reply, so play it again!  And he did.  We enjoyed ourselves so much that afternoon, it was the first time we "truly" saw mum, her true nature, happiness, joy and beaming with LOVE.

We miss you Alice, rest well now, no more suffering, no more worries, only peace and love.


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Bonne Nuit Maman (Good Night Irene)

8/27/2019

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Bonne Nuit Maman
Irene Tetreault
April 10, 1935 - May 16, 2019

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I’ve come to this point many times wanting to write about my mom’s passing.  To share with you what an incredible mother, friend, confidante she was to me.  But how do I summarize a life of 84 years in a couple of paragraphs?  Surely my words won’t give her any justice as to the life she led or the impact she left on loved ones.  Most of the time as I come to remember the memories, she bestowed on me, I only clearly remember the ones of the end of her life.  And so, I will impart with you some of those memories.
 
In the year 2000 mom finally decided to take her retirement from teaching.  The last couple of years started to take their toll on her, but she was determined to wait till 65.  She was adamant about waiting to 65 as it would give her a full pension, and she in no way wanted to be a burden to us children in her later years financially.  If it was one thing this clearly communicated to me was to always do the best, you can to be financially independent.
 
When mom first retired dad was ready to move into the Villas in Ste. Annes, Manitoba.  They were like apartments with homecare readily available and a couple of cafeterias you could go eat at if you didn’t feel like cooking.  Mom wanted absolutely nothing to do with that.  She had just retired and truly just wanted to enjoy their home in the country.  She spent the days sitting by the expansive windows reading countless books.  She would spend the winters planning her garden and then the summer tending to it’s every need.  We would all reap the benefits of her love for gardening as there was always plenty to share.  At some point she discovered the bread maker, and mom became our family’s personal baker.  She would always try on some new recipes and have us rate them, my favorite was the cranberry, sunflower seed one.
 
In her retirement years mom became somewhat of an entrepreneur.  She spent time selling Epicure.  This gave her the perfect excuse to make coffee dates with her friends to take their orders and then once the goodies came in she would make yet another coffee date and deliver.  Everyone looked forward to receiving one of her handmade cards with their purchase, which was another craft mom spent time doing.
 
Mom did not get to spend a whole lot of time with my dad in retirement as he transitioned in June of 2007.  Mom grieved my dad’s passing for a few years and needed that necessary time to redefined who she was without Donat.
In 2012 mom took the opportunity to move into an assistant living resident in
La Broquerie, MB called Le Chalet.  She made some amazing friends here in this place, some that to this day I still reach out to and spend time with.
 
Mom was able to move into Le Chalet with her companion, Minou.  He quickly became the star of the place, escaping occasionally from her apartment running down the hall tailless.  Minou (cat) was a gift from the trees, and I believe sent from my dad to keep a close eye on her.
 
There are three things my mom loved most in life during this time; Minou, tomatoes and chocolate.  Nothing like the aroma of fresh tomatoes picked fresh from the garden, sliced up and served with fresh toasted bread!  When mom couldn’t supply her own tomatoes, she would head down to Evergreen Hot House and buy bags, and bags of tomatoes.  She would then split them up and hand deliver them to family and her friends in Le Chalet.  Mom was kind and always spoiling us with her gestures.
 
In 2013 mom decided she needed a new car.  So, she asked me if I could go shopping with her.  She came home with a shinny new Rav 4 in bright red.  She was so excited, and it was like learning how to run a computer for her (which she had no experience).  She studied the manual from front to back and showed me all the buttons, and then I would catch her giving rides to her friends and showing off her new car!
 
Within a short time at Le Chalet we started to notice some changes in mom’s behavior and in 2015 it became apparent that it was no longer safe for mom to reside there.  As a family, we decided to move her to Le Pavillion in Ste. Annes, MB.  Mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s.  As most of you know this dis-ease strips you of your memories and cognitive abilities.  It also alters your perception of this reality.
The last 5 years of mom’s life were for me the school of hard knox.  She was a teacher right to her last breath.  As her dis-ease progressed she taught me patience, how to release expectations, not take anything serious and a lot about grieving.
 
Patience,
As a yoga teacher I took many long breaths of inhale and exhale with my mom.  Although, I needed to practice patience for her, I mostly needed to practice patience with myself.  As mom transitioned into her different stages of her dis-ease, I needed to be loving, kind and mostly patient towards myself as I was busy catching up to the progression of her dis-ease.
 
Expectations
There is so much suffering in the world due to expectations.  If you continue to expect someone to be the way they were with this dis-ease you will deeply suffer. Releasing expectations of not just mom but anyone, really sets you FREE.  We could no longer expect mom to know things, to remember how to do the simple things like brush your teeth or speak words.  We truly needed to release ALL expectations.
 
Do not take anything seriously
I cannot tell you how many times mom would behave a certain way that would either make you laugh or make you want to crawl into a hole and hide from embarrassment.  One time I took mom to see a specialist who happened to be a very good-looking man.  Mom walked up to him, planted a big kiss on his lips and told him she loved him.  He was a total stranger, and I never seen anyone turn so many shades of red in my life.  Another time I took her to the dentist where at one point she clenched her jaw shut, lifted her legs straight up in the chair (bow pose in yoga) and held her legs there for eternity.  Her physical strength was unbelievable.  I could not get her to put her legs down.  And then there was her new fashion she wanted to display.  She would still dress herself and put on 3 shirts with 2 bras on top of the blouses.  She thought nothing of this and did not see anything wrong with the way she chose to dress herself.  I say Madonna she had you beat on outfits.  We came to understand that mom was full of surprises, and we never knew what she was capable of.
 
Grieving
The final lesson that mom taught me was a lot about grieving.  My first grief was the loss of trust with mom.  I no longer could trust that she could take care of herself.
The second thing I grieved was the loss of my dearest and closest friend.  Mom and I did many, many things together, shared many feelings, and dreams.  This friendship vanished.
The third thing I grieved was the loss of my mother.  Mother’s are nurturers, and mom had lost the ability to do so.  I could no longer seek her out to receive this nurturing.  In this last phase a role reversal took place.  I became the mother and my mother became my daughter, my child.  In 2017 when we moved my mom to the nursing home in Ste. Annes called Le Villa Youville, my services as a mother was no longer needed here, as this facility took care of all mother’s needs.  So, here is where I grieved being her mother.
 
Along the way I grieved my mother’s mind, and in the end of her life there was nothing left to grieve but her body.
 
Don’t ever underestimate the lessons you can learn from your loved ones with Alzheimer’s.  All of these were huge teaching for all of us.
 
In the yogic teachings we talk about the breath.  We are born on an inhale and we die on the exhale.  Our lives are but one breath inhale/exhale.  What is really important is what we do in between that breath.  Mom lived a good life.  She spread joy, laughter, and love.
 
From a shamanic & yogic perspective we are made of elements; water, earth, air and ether.  Mom’s blood went back to the ocean, her bones back to mother earth, her breath released into the air and her spirit is all around us.
 
Spirit is in everything and is everywhere.  I can see mom over here and over there.  I look in the mirror and I see my mother; she is in all my cells.  She is infinite. She is here and there.
Mom will continue to teach me from her formless self.  She will continue to show kindness and generosity through my actions as I impart her lessons.  She will always be an angel who has spread her wings.
I asked my mom’s spirit if there were any messages she wanted to impart to her family and friends, and she did.  Please take comfort in these 3 messages:

  1. Sourier et la vie vous sourira.  Smile and life will smile back at you
  2. Be kind to each other.  It only takes a kind smile to light up a whole community
  3. Don’t stress about your weight.  Dance sing and it all falls off

Namaste,
the light in me recognized the light within you as it is also within me

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Farewell My Friend

8/24/2018

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Farewell Good Friend
 
We said our farewells to our male malamute, Trudeau on April 19th, 2018.  It was a day stricken with sorrow, and joy.  Sorrow because we said good bye to one of our furry children and it is never easy to do this.  Joy because we were able to communicate with Trudeau and ask him what he wanted for his final resting day.  The knowing, and honoring his wishes made the experience of his death much more meaningful for all of us.  Some of you who read this will wonder how does one communicate to your dog and ask him those questions, and others know that it is entirely possible.
 
Now that we have respected a grieving period, I’m able to share with you the manner of our communication and the actual ceremony of his death, but before I embark on that journey I’d like to share with you the cause of his death, and the lessons learnt around it.
 
Trudeau was an 8 year old Alaskan malamute, the first descendant from the wolf. You are probably wondering why the name Trudeau?  Well we both liked our former prime minister Pierre Elliot Trudeau and how cool to call your dog after him.  However, I'm sure Grant has a different version of this story, I just can't remember what it is.   Trudeau never appeared to be sick in our eyes, and always had a voracious appetite.  I think he would have eaten anything you gave him, edible and non edible.  Trudeau as a growing pup had some difficulties with his right hind leg.  His knee would pop out every once in awhile, which was much cause for concern at the time, however, apparently normal for a growing, large bread.  We brought Trudeau home with a sister named Luna, and they always lived outside in their pen.  Never the 2 were separated, until the time Grant started to walk them separately for training.  Our furry friends loved to pull the sleigh and they were the happiest when working.
 
In early March we noticed that Trudeau was not putting any weight on his right hind leg, and we assumed that perhaps his knee was popping out again.  When looked over by the veterinarian, we were told that it was perhaps a torn ligament or muscle.  It was suggested to supplement him with some calcium to help his bones; at the age of 8 he is considered a senior.  The vet also suggested we take him on short walks, and to do some physiotherapy.  So daily Grant would walk him slowly around the house, and we both would exercise the leg.  I would daily give him some Reiki treatments in the hopes that the leg would heal.  After a month passed, we were very excited to see that the leg had improved immensely.  Trudeau was now putting weight on the leg, and he was even running a little.  During this whole time his appetite never subsided.
 
One morning I came to check on him and do some work, and he was lying on top of his dog house, ears right back, and the look of intense pain in his eyes.  This deep, sunken feeling came over me, and I knew something was not right.  As I approached his leg, it no longer had any resistance to it.  It simply flopped around.  I’m no vet, but every ounce of intuition was telling me his leg was broken.  How could it be broken?  What the heck did he do?  Did he fall?  We knew we had to bring him to the vet, but it was a Saturday, and our vet was out of town, and could not take him.  We really struggled with the decision to wait till Monday for an x-ray.  But we waited.  In the meantime, I did lots of energy work with him, and we gave him cannabis oil, and lavender oil.
 
The week prior to this incident, Grant and I had watched the video series entitled “The Truth about Pet Cancer” created by Ty Bollinger.  It’s an excellent series and very informative.  We had lost our first dog, Teiga to cancer.  There was a lot of information in this video series, but the message we walked away with the most was that dogs and cats are not meant to eat solely dry pet food.  They absolutely need raw, and wet food in their diets.  The diet change was something I had been considering for awhile.  I co-facilitate an Ayurveda and Yoga retreat four times a year and Purnima Chaudhari and we are constantly teaching the difference between intelligent, dumb, and dead food.  Without getting into a whole lesson here in this blog, know that dead food is any food that has been processed and cooked at extremely high temperatures, or microwaved.  Therefore, “kibble” falls into this category.  Dogs are no different than humans, if their diet consists of nothing but processed food, they are essentially starving their bodies.  The body can not get enough nutrients to be absorbed in order to feed all seven layers of tissues.  All that consumed processed food is then being stored in fat, for the body sees it as a foreign element and does not know what to do with it.  Eventually, your body starts to create disease, and we get sick, and fat.
 
Monday morning we took Trudeau to the vet for an x-ray and our fears were confirmed his leg was broken in half at the femur.  But that news was not the worst of it.  Around the femur was a shadow that indicated bone cancer.  What the F@ck!  Where did that come from?  Our hearts were crushed!  Our logical minds start wheeling and looking for the signs.  Were there any signs that this was coming?  Were we blinded to the signs?  Are we terrible pet parents?  If you have ever lost a pet you know exactly what I’m talking about.  Our minds are trying to justify the madness.  The vet said there is nothing we can do, you should put him down, as he is in a lot of pain.  I’m a healer, I don’t like it when anyone, or anything is in pain!  I told Grant that I did not want to rush into this decision and that we needed to sit with this for a few days.  We would do the best we could to make Trudeau comfortable until we reached a decision.
 
As a shamanic practitioner, I have the tools to meditate (journey) to other realms to talk to power animals, guides, spirits, angels and so forth.  I decided to journey to the spirit of Trudeau.  The spirit is always available even if the person or animal is alive or has passed.  My journey to the spirit of Trudeau was beautiful!  His spirit came to me as a wolf, big large black and white wolf.  His messages were as follows: 

  • His purpose in this life time was to help us learn the importance of diet for all domesticated animals.  They need raw meat, and raw vegetables in their diet.
  • His spirit was well aware of his cancer, and no longer wanted his body to carry the intense pain.
  • His spirit gave us permission to end his life.
  • His spirit wanted his final day to be done with ceremony; music, drumming, smudging
  • His spirit wanted all of us to be together, especially Luna, so that she could understand that he was no longer walking in this realm.
  • His body wanted to eat a raw rabbit for his last meal
  • His spirit wanted to be buried in the earth.
  • His spirit wanted my help to bring it to the light.
 
Up until the 19th of April, Trudeau no longer wanted to sleep in the pen with his sister, Luna.  He was content to lie underneath the big old oak tree.  I call this oak the grieving tree as we said good bye to 3 other pets here.  We continued to do energy work with him, give him cannabis and lavender oil to ease his pain.  My hope was that he would die naturally, however that was not the case.  We chose the 19th to put him down.  This number is significant as we have lost 2 other furry children on the 19th.  The number for me signifies our ‘oneness”.  In numerology, you add the 2 digits together until the number becomes a single digit so (1+9 = 10 , 1+0=1)  One is the magic number.
 
The morning of the 19th Grant and I headed outside with drum, smudging tools, raw rabbit, guitar, Luna, and cats.  We fed Trudeau his raw rabbit meal and he devoured it.  I then began a ceremony asking the animal guides to join us and to assist Trudeau in his journey over the rainbow bridge.  I drummed and sang shamanic songs, asking the sun to take Trudeau’s pain away.  We danced with the spirits of nature, and all the cats came by to say good bye.  Grant played a series of songs on his guitar, we sang and we cried.  At some point I held Trudeau in a rhythmic breath of So Hum.  A yogic mantra breath that literally means “ I am THAT”.  It is a breath that brings deep calmness to the mind.  Trudeau looked up at me with his head tilted and said in his own language that he was ready.  Just as he finished looking at me, the vet drove up in the driveway, and proceeded to put Trudeau in his eternal sleep.  He died at 11:11 the hour of awakening.  I then proceeded to journey along side Trudeau as his spirit left his body.  I guided him over the rainbow bridge where he was met by a pack of wolves, Oso, and Stu.  He then gazed at me again, said his farewells and turned into a spark of light and shot out into the stars.
 
For me Trudeau’s death was beautiful, peaceful, and even magical.  I felt so honored to have been able to create, assist, and lovingly release him.  My heart is and was truly full.  Trudeau has not been by in spirit yet to say hello.  But I know that he is working with some of my other guides and I will soon be starting a new chapter in my life.  His death has taught me so much, and I’m meant to share this with the world.  How that looks like is being revealed to me as I write, and when the time is right for sharing it will be so.

Trudeau our black and white Alaskan Malamute.
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Week 3 - Brahma Muhurta

7/16/2018

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Day 23, 24, 25, 26 Brahma Muhurta

Yes what a wonderful world it is.
Just spent the last 4 days immersed in the knowledge of #Ayurveda and #yoga with a flare of #shamanism with 4 amazing beautiful souls.

How blessed we are by each of our journeys in life, sharing and laughing.

Love, love my life and all the gifts that come with it

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Day 20 Brahma Muhurta

Up at 6:05 AM

Today I honored my incarnation into this temple of mine. 52 years ago my mother pushed my little body out of her creative womb. I took my first breath!

I honored her in my heart for breathing life into mine.

I honored all spirits born on this day. In special recogntion to have come to bless the earth with our unique gifts.

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Day 19 of Brahma Muhurta
Wake up time 6:45 AM

Today I was joined by Minou and Leila for my morning sattva intake. Cats know where it's at. They seek the only streak of sunlight on the floor, position themselves to take it all in. Minou rolls onto his back exposing his heart while Leila stands tall eyes squinting taking the sun in like a Sphynx in front of a pyramid.
Demonstrating 2 asana poses: corps and hero's pose. I followed their lead in my morning practice. Cats are some of the best teachers

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Day 18 Brahma Muhurta

Hmmmm wake up time 8 AM
Not quite sattva time.

Nevertheless, I came upstairs to meditate in full sun exposure. It was still just as blissful!

My mind had a few moments of criticism; thoughts of what are you doing? Can't you stick to waking up early? You're soooo lazy?

Then my wisdom popped in and said: remember be impeccable with your word. Impeccable means without sin. Without sin means not doing any harm to self. Not doing harm to self is any action that is harmful to self and to others which is equally harmful to oneself. So criticism, is words harmful to oneself.

Solution...I raised my hand with the middle finger up and said to mind. Buzz off you are hurting me!

Have an amazing day!

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Day 17 Brahma Muhurta

5:15 am absorbing sattva.

After a few sun salutations I brought my attention to bringing the water element into my sadhana with flowing movements in my asanas. There are salutations for all the elements. In the hot summer months it's important to bring in a water namaskar to ease the fire of the season. Pay attention, and intuit what your body needs. It's really early in the morning and you are present to honor your temple. Don't waste time doing what the book tells you to do or how you learnt something a certain way. Simply step into your being and listen to your wisdom. It knows what it needs and knows how to do it.

Breathe in, breathe out!

Namaste

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Day 15 and 16 Brahma Muhurta

The last 2 mornings the sun has been high in the sky by the time I pulled myself out of bed. Although it was still early around 6:30.

I've been given the gift of time to reflect these past couple of days. And I have made an observation. Is it the truth? Not sure yet. My eating choices have been less desirable in the last couple of days; choosing chocolate and chips.
I've noticed a connection of boredom to making unhealthy food choices. Could it be that the food we eat impacts are ability to wake up with the sun? Could it be that what we put in our mouths affects are very willingness to honor ourselves wholeheartedly? Of course there is a connection. I've spent a lifetime of eating chocolate. Could it be that it is the very thing that keeps me in bed in the morning, feeling tired? Truth?
Sometimes it takes us a lonnnnnnggggg time to connect some dots.

I think I will go have another piece of chocolate and ponder some more

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Week 2 - Brahma Muhurta

7/6/2018

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Day 14 Brahma Muhurta

I no longer need an alarm clock to wake me. My body innately knows.
I'm up between 5am and 5:45am.

Part of my morning practice was applying my new infinity meditation techniques that I learnt in Toronto with #theartofliving and the other was #abhayanga also known as #dailyayurvedicmassage.

At our #feedyoursoul yoga and ayurveda retreats we teach this technique. It feeeeeeeelllllllllsssssss amazing! A beautiful practice of self love. It's like spreading love all over your body.

In India, oil massage is as much part of a daily physical hygiene as bathing, shaving and shampooing are in Western culture. In fact not long ago there were not too many massage therapists as there was no need.

Benefits of this daily practice are numerous: slows aging, counteracts fatigue, improves eyesight, increases strength, lengthens life-span, supports sleep, nourishes skin, increase resistance to disease, helps prevents injuries and enhances beauty.

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Day 13 Brahma Muhurta

Sometimes you can't get your whole practice in. Do the best you can. That's all. Show up for yourself in the best way you can. That's it. No self criticism, no judgements, no excuses. Just do your best.

I'm home! Last Toronto sunrise for awhile I imagine. I sure have enjoyed drinking it in from these heights

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Day 12 Brahma Muhurta

I've been getting up quite regularly at 5:15 am these days, but today I slept in and awoke at 6:24. I guess I slept in ha! Ha! That is so funny because 12 days ago I would have NEVER said that.

So what has shifted for me in the last 12 days? Three things: Sleep, Bowel Movements, energy.

I sleep like a rock. Now those of you who know me know I have had insomnia for many many years. And if I sleep it is light and easily awaken. I'm in one of the noisiest cities and all the sounds are lullying me to sleep and in a deep deep sleep. Wow love it!

The second thing I noticed is a change in bowel movements. Yeah I'm going to talk about shit for a few moments. I have suffered for years on irregularities from diarrhoea to constipation and there is suppose to be a time of day this should happen, preferably before 8 am. This regularity has rarely ever happen for me. So I'm noticing a shift in an actual rhythm and regularity.

The third is energy. YES YES YES much more energy. It feels amazing!

When I started this journey of Brahma Muhurta 12 days ago it was for all these reasons and more. This practice brings your body into a balance of health, guiding it into its natural state

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Day 11 Brahma Muhurta "...the divine exists in the depths of your own being through this ritual, and once connected with your inner divinity, recognize the same divinity in the Self of every being you encounter. Your day will be lit up with the light of a thousand suns by this recognition. Move through the living present with this constant divine awareness guiding you." Acharya Shunya

Beautiful Ayurvedic wisdom in this guide. What a gift to the world.

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Day 10 Brahma Muhurta

To be high above the trees and breathe in this beauty is beyond special! What a glorious day 💜
So much gratitude for my being. I'm so filled with sattva and prana.

Be mindful to not get attached to your morning sadhana ritual. Be open to being flexible. Up at 5:30 and the only time to get caught up with my host, one of my favorite family members through my husband's side, Paul. The yoga, pranayamas and meditation can wait.

No I'm not in Kansas anymore....ha ha or should I say La Broquerie. I'm in Toronto a city that does not sleep

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Day 9 Brahma Muhurta

The beauty of this practice is that anywhere you are in the world the sun rises. This morning I find myself in Winnipeg at my soul sisters living room with Bentley (the puppy). We are both absorbing sattva to begin a glorious day.
#Ayurveda

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Day 8 Brahma Muhurta

My rug is not just any rug. It's a time piece. Every piece of fabric had a life purpose at one time. They were sheets that have wrapped and covered the very young and the very old. Kept humanity cool in the summer months and warm in the winter months. Perhaps their previous life witnessed sickness or the blissfulness of love making. Whatever their history they have found transformation into a rug.
This rug was woven by a woman who struggles with life and living. Through these threads she finds peace in her mind and is able to crack her heart open little by little. Weaving her love to re-use and care for the earth mirroring her own inner process. No this isn't just any rug.

I placed my rug in my bathroom. The first place where my feet lay while I greet my teeth and mouth and eyes in my daily morning practice. I can feel the love oozing through those woven sheets now called a rug. How incredibly special it is to have this love at my feet to start my morning ritual of Brahma Muhurta.

No this is not just any rug 💜

Blessing

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    Carole Tetreault

    When I get into my deepest thoughts and contemplation this is when the most beautiful words flow from my pen.

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